Spreading yourself thin

Spreading yourself thin, is something I should do with the cream cheese and jelly on my bagel, not something I should encourage to do in my life. There are times to push through with hard work and determination, then there are times to just surrender. Being here, being there, doing this, doing that. Time going by so quickly. I am in the process of moving into my first studio. Yes, the shoe box, but a glorified shoe box. My own space. Something that makes most free spirits feel like a caged animal. At least I have a garage space and a yard. Plus my landlord is really easy going, so it's not that bad. This week has been a marathon. I just had to re-finish my grandmothers armoire before I put one more thing into my studio. This ambition left me exhausted by Sunday evening. Visual people have a hard time with things being left undone. We are greatly affected by our surroundings. It's really hard to simply walk away and leave it for another day. Not on my watch. My pure determination left me drained. It was wasn't until I was putting the hardware back on the armoire that pushed me over the edge. I just couldn't simply do it. I had run out of patience. Before I stripped one more tiny screw from this nostalgic antique and ripped it out with rage, I walked away. I put down the screw driver and walked away. I was so proud of myself. The turning point to my obsession with needing life to be visually perfect and completed before I could move onto one more thing. It just simply doesn't work that way. I surrender. I'm leaving my visual mess for all to see.